It's Not the Time
by ccvixen
Summary: Mistakes you make have a habit of coming back to you.  Themes include: teen pregnancy, abortion. Don't read if you will be offended by content.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I'm not exactly sure how this story will pan out, I'll be asking for peoples opinions in the reviews so please, please give me a hint of what you want to see. This song is It's Not the Time by Kendall Payne.**

It's not the time,  
It's not the place,  
I am afraid.

They keep telling me, I'm not alone  
They're all standing by me, but I am not my own  
This thing is growing like a cancer I must kill  
I am so confused, I don't know what I feel

I refuse to believe this is a child  
It's not a person yet it takes quite a while  
And guilt is great on my shoulders tonight  
Could someone please tell me what is wrong and what is right  
What is wrong and what is right, what is wrong and what is right

But I know it's life, I can't deny that it's life  
Oh is it life? Can I deny this its life? I am afraid

She stared at the pregnancy test in her hand, with only one thought in her head, abotion. There was no way she could go through with a pregnancy, especially with whom the father happened to be. Her life would be ruined, no cheerios, no parents, no cheerleading scholarship, no friends, no anything. All her life since she was 7 years old and had been taken aside for a "quiet chat" with Amanda and her cronies, the mini HBIC's of the Lima gymnastics club, ever since the moment she realised that to get ahead in life you couldn't be soft, you couldn't let anyone see you when you're down, humiliated. Pregnancy was the ultimate display of softness.

The .. fetus inside of her stomach wasn't really a baby, not yet anyway. It couldn't feel or think or anything. It wouldn't know that it's mother was going to kill it.

She wasn't it's mother just like ... he wasn't it's father. She should never have slept with him without using proper protection in the first place. It was the start of a slippery slope to the rest of her life. One minute she forgot to bring condoms to a hookup, the next she was missing her period, soon later she was standing here with a pregnancy test in her lap. If she didn't nip this little "thing" in the bud then would come the pregnancy rumors, the fall from grace, the weight gain, the being slushied in hallways and kicked off the cheerios. She wouldn't get a cheerleading scholarship to colledge, hell she might even have to drop out of high school. She would be estranged from her parents, have to choose wether to give her baby up for adoption, hand it over to some greedy bitch or to give up her whole bloody life for some stupid mistake.  
But could she really have an abortion? It had been drilled into her head since as long as she could remember, killing is wrong and abortion is killing.


	2. Chapter 2

She booked an appointment with her gynaecologist, whether she would have an abortion or not she still hadn't decided but what ever she chose to do she would need to see a doctor.

Santana's (_** yup it's Santana**_) father himself was a doctor (though a cardiac specialist which is kind of different) so she had always had the best medical care free, something she was glad for now. Abortions cost money and it's not like Santana was rolling in cash after all the clothes and make-up and cinema tickets and everything that she needed to be the most popular kid in school. If that was shallow shoot her, she was bad ass she didn't give a shit.

Santana had, with the help of wiki answers found out as much as she needed to know about the medical procedure. Until about 9 weeks she could take two medicines and it would all be over within a couple of days. It would just be like a natural early pregnancy miscarriage. After that it would be more difficult and she would have to have her uterus sucked or something disgusting. Santana really hoped it wouldn't come to that.

She still felt in shock about it all. She was terrified about what would happen if anyone found out. Or if the OB/YGN wouldn't do the abortion. She didn't think that she would be able to show her face at school, the fallen pregnant ex-head cheerleader.

Her appointment was booked for Thursday after school. She didn't have cheerio practise because Coach Sylvester was in New Mexico giving a talk about the advantages of corporal punishment to a bunch of freaky psycho's. She would be cutting glee a bit tight but it's not like Mr. Shue would even notice she wasn't there. What Santana hated most of all about herself and situation was that she was all alone. She was such a bitch to people, no one cared about her, no one loved her. She had no one except Brittany. Brittany, the dumbest girl in McKinley |High, even if she was her best amazing friend. The fetus's father had been a stupid mistake, she knew more then anyone that she shouldn't have slept with him, that he didn't feel anything for her. The only person Santana could have relied upon was Quinn, whom she had estranged when she was in exactly the same situation months earlier. Santana despised herself for the way she had treated her ex-friend. So Quinn had needed taking down a peg or two and she wasn't popular any more. Friends didn't mess about with each other like that. She was screwed.

The next day at glee Santana had a song to sing. Sitting on a stool at the front of the practise room she let the music wash over her.

_When all is lost to you inside_  
_When all the darkness takes the light_  
_The ritual warning has begun_  
_And now you tear away from everyone_  
_Disconnected so alone yeah_  
_Severed ties from all you know_

_Isolation_  
_Brings you to the end_  
_Until you love again, oh_  
_Isolation_  
_If you could only see_  
_What will come to be_  
_Yeah_

_Justify you waste away_  
_You dare to dream but still you're too afraid_  
_And now you're broken and deceived_  
_Lost to live this cruel reality_  
_You're disconnected so alone_  
_Severed ties from all you know_

_Isolation_  
_Brings you to the end_  
_Until you love again, oh_  
_Isolation_  
_If you could only see_  
_What will come to be_  
_Yeah_

_Maybe you'll stand_  
_Maybe you'll give and break to find another way_  
_And make things better_  
_Maybe you'll find_  
_A life you can live and learn to love along the way_  
_And make things better_  
_And make things better_

_Isolation_  
_Brings you to the end_  
_Until you love again, oh_  
_Isolation_  
_If you could only see_  
_What will come to be_  
_Yeah_

_Isolation_  
_Brings you to the end_  
_Until you love again_  
_Isolation_  
_If you could only see_  
_What will come to be_

_You're disconnected so alone_  
_What will come to be?_  
_You're disconnected so alone_

Well they hadn't expected that.

**Ps. The song is Isolation by Altar Bridges. I'm trying to do kind of strange songs. :) Again, please, please give me ideas in the reveiws. Tell me if you wan Santana to have an abortion or keep the baby and who you want the father to be.**


End file.
